My Sweet memories

It's July 4th. It's my Birthday. So, American Government declared a Holiday across the country to celebrate my Birthday. So, I am off to Chicago. Here is my birthday treat. This is a short story written by me. Hope you like it.

*****

I don't know when it all started but one fine day I realized that I am in Love. I am in Love with her. I wonder how it happened. I think its the eyes of her that did the magic or should I say its her smile. I don't know. I don't remember when I first saw her. I don't even remember how and when we first met. All I remember is her beautiful innocent smile with some magic in her eyes. It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.

Love is a strange thing. It makes you feel happy all the time. It makes you wonder how you lived without it all these years. I am not a writer or a poet to describe it. And I sometimes think how one can describe Love. It's an eternal feeling above all words. I think it's the only feeling which can be described without any words. Just a silent message from the heart through the eyes would do it.

She used to talk a lot. First I ignored her, later I got used to it and one fine day I started appreciating it and now I am loving it. She never came in my dreams as they say but she was always with me whenever I thought of her. She never helped me in anything but always supported me in each and every step of my life. She never bought me a gift but left me memories worth a million gifts. She was never like a typical girl friend but she is the best friend one can ever get.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if our paths never crossed. I don't know where she lives but I know where to find her. I don't know what she hates but I know what she likes. I don't know what makes her cry but I know what makes her laugh. I don't even know her name. All I know is I love her. I love her more than anyone in this world. She is the precious part of my life and I can't imagine me without her.

Life, like love, is a strange thing. It has many hidden surprises and unexpected twists. You never know when you come across one. Some see it as an adventure, some call it a gift, some say it a way god lets you know that he exists. Whatever it is life, like love, cannot be described. It just goes on but one thing is for sure, it is not a happy ride all the time. Some day somewhere you have to meet with an accident and that is what makes all the difference.

'This has to be a perfect love story' I always thought. She is my princess. I almost forgot the basic principles of life. As someone aptly said 'Life is what happens to you when you are busy making other plans'. One day she told me that the time has come for her to leave. She told me that this cannot continue forever. I begged her not to leave me. I told her how much I loved her. But she did not listen. She left me with no option but to forget her. She stopped talking to me. She avoided me. Slowly she moved far away from me and one day she disappeared completely.

Love is a strange thing. It makes you do terrible things. I loved her. But somewhere I knew that one day or the other this is going to happen. I always knew that one day she is going to leave me. I knew that this is the only way it can end. But, I never thought that it would cause me so much pain that I started hating everyone who is responsible for this including me. I don't want her to leave. I don't want this to happen. But, Is there any option? No. I have to let
her go though it is not what I want.

Why? Why is this happening to me? Why is it that love which gives you so much happiness causes unbearable pain? Why doesn't all love stories have a happy ending? Will I ever get through this? I don't know. I don't want to think about it. I am trying my best to forget her. But still sometimes I see her. She comes to me and sits besides me. She is not like before. She does not talk much. She is not with me always.

My heart says 'Don't leave her..'
My mind says 'Forget her...'
My friends say 'You will get over with it..'
My doctors say 'I am responding to their treatment..'

I am a Schizophrenia* patient. I am suffering from a rare Paranoid Schizophrenia. They say that I am having hallucinations about a girl which never existed. I did not believe what they said in the beginning. But I had to believe it. It is one of the so called lessons the life teaches - 'Truth is stranger than fiction.' I see her sometimes. She comes to me and smiles at me. But I am not the same guy any more.

I never felt happier after that. It's been six years since I was detected with this disease. Even after all these years I could not able to forget her. One day I may be cured. I may stop seeing her. But I will never forget her. Till then Its just me and my sweet memories...

-Venks

*This story was inspired from the true life story of John Forbes Nash, the Noble award mathematician who suffered from Paranoid Schizophrenia. You can watch the movie "A Beautiful Mind" which is based on the biography of John Forbes Nash. Schizophrenia is the most persistent and disabling of the major mental illnesses. There are many variations of this disease. In some of the extreme cases, the person effected with Schizophrenia sees hallucinations. One keeps seeing, hearing, feeling, touching smelling or tasting things that aren't there. To know more about this disease visit http://www.medicinenet.com/schizophrenia/article.htm.